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Showing posts from August, 2009

"I am John's colon."

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Guhhh... okay. You know what? I can't keep my mouth shut about this any longer. I'm sorry, okay - this is probably going to hurt me more than it's going to hurt him, or anyone else for that matter, but FUCK JOHN MALCOVICH! Yeah, there, I said it. F-Malcovich! "Say whaaaat?" I wish I could get over this, I want to get over this, but the problem is that no matter what, I will always be rubbed the wrong way by this issue. "Woah, slow the trolley - what issue?" I guess I should explain. The man, *sigh* , the man just won't do accents. THERE! OKAY? HE'S AN ACTOR THAT DOESN'T DO ACCENTS!!! It's not even that he's just another Hollywood knock-off being put in a period film based out of the UK, and he's failing to make his cockney stick out... it's the the man is considered an actOR. Esteemed in his field! AND HE DOESN'T PUT ON A FUCKING ACCENT FOR ANYTHING! What a douche bag. Okay, calm down, that's totally unfair of me. H

Technicolored Pachyderms are really too much for me...

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Over this past weekend, my son decided to indulge in some classic Disney animation and had his Grandmother put on Disney's Dumbo, despite my protests. It's not the easiest film for a mother to watch with her son. For those of you who are unfamiliar with the story, essentially Mama Elephant gets branded as 'mad' for trying to keep her baby from being humiliated by children. If you're a weeper like I am, the rest of the story doesn't matter. So what if baby defies the laws of physics by learning to fly with his gigantic ears...the point is that that Ms.Jumbo gets her baby taken away and it's heart wrenching . Can't even handle this shit With mama locked up, baby Jumbo "Dumbo" Jumbo Jr. (yes, that's -actually- his name) gets into all kinds of trouble with his good-for-nothing mentor Timothy Q. Mouse. After taking him to see his caged mother, the mouse decides to cure the little elephant's hiccups with some water, which unbeknownst to him