Planting the Seeds of Doubt

Everybody has that person in their lives that looooves to be the "Devils Advocate" - or so they'd describe themselves as.

"The voice of reason" they say.

They take it upon themselves to tell you exactly what you feared to hear from someone, and single-handedly destroy all traces of the inner monologue.

We all know one.

Think about it...

Yeah, see? There you go.

Me? It be my mommy.

Example:

Today I went glasses shopping.

Since my mom is footing the bill, she said "Get whatever pair you'd like!" Wary, I went forth with the hopes of finding the perfect pair.

I wanted something snazy. Different, but not too different. Me, but not too me. And above all, they had to be coooool....

So after narrowing it down to about half a dozen pairs, and then narrowing them down, I settled on a very retro looking plastic pair in light yellow.

In the end, it beat out 5 other pairs!

So I left, happy with my decision.

So I telephoned my mother because I wanted to share the news!

Glasses shopping is a delicate process doncha know?

So I call my mom, tell her the news and I'm greeted with:

"Yellow? Augh, that'll get old fast."

...

Yah. No foolin'.

So okay, she maybe the "voice of reason" but then I left the mall thinking to myself:

"Ohmigod... Yellow?! What was I thinking?! That's not going to look good with anything! AHH!"

Yeah.

Planting the Seeds of Doubt.

Now my dear readers, I will share with you methods on how to cope through series of examples.

Example 1:

You: "May I please have some more potatos?"

DP: "Seconds? Really? Do you -really- think you -need- seconds?"

This is how you cope:

You: *looks the DP up and down* "I think I can afford it"

Eh? Pretty good huh?

Example 2:

You: *heading out the door*

DP: " Do you want me to get you a sweater or a jacket?"

You: "It's not cold out."

DP: " No, I know, but you might just want to, "cover up"."

This is how you cope:

You: "Why would you think I'd want to cover up?"

DP: "Well, what you've got on is a tad, revealing, isn't it?"

You: "Compared to what?"

DP: "Well, back in my day women had more shame then that. Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free?"

You: "BECAUSE I BE TRYING TO FIND ME A BABY-DADDY!! YOU DIG?!?!"

That's actually how I handled that situation once.

I still covered up... but that's because my Doubt Planter be the Great Satan.