Saucy Rubes!
As a new driver, and former pedestrian, I understand the rules of the road.
Growing up in small towns, jaywalking never seemed to influence the flow of traffic. But having since moved to the city, I've been subject to throngs of self-righteous jaywalkers.
In Ottawa, allot of the two-lane highways are separated by a big cement divider. Crosswalks tend to be found only at the ends of these stretches of highways at high traffic intersections. So naturally, the temptation to cut across a 4 lane highway (plus divider) is there. And lets not kid ourselves - if you're young, healthy, and get an inflated high on adrenaline, we go for it!
But alas, allot of these highways are situated in areas full of baby boomers and cadavers who all seem to have a death wish.
I cannot begin to count the number of times I've seen a mother with a stroller for two and a baby strapped to her chest ushering her three kids across the street in a frenzy. Or the countless WWII veterans pacing themselves across these highways with their walkers.
But to make matters worse, they seem to think they're actually entitled to be doing this; as if yielding to pedestrians applies to a 4-lane highway.
You're just driving along, then out of nowhere Mama Cass and her brood ofmeal tickets children come hobbling across the street. You frantically apply the breaks and come to a screeching halt, nearly causing a 20 car pile up.
Then, oh and this is the best part, she casts you this look. The look that screams "If my eye lubrication were acid, I would burn your face off!" And you feel like a piece of shit, while this whole time, you weren't doing anything wrong aside from condoning her behaviour by not getting your front bumper lodged in her ass.
And then there are the senior citizens whom you have to respect because they got their own 400-class highway by being diplomatic in a world war. But honestly, you don't see them zig-zagging back on forth on that stretch of road, do you? If I've learnt anything about seniors, its that they're grouchy and hate everyone. They especially hate anyone with their vision intact and a valid drivers license. So they cross the road, as if completely oblivious to the fact that they're walking a total of -5km/h and they're on a HIGHWAY.
Because I'm a victim to jaywalking bandits on a daily basis, I decided to do a little research on the term. Here's a break down of Jaywalking as defined by Wikipedia.com:
See, there's just so many things wrong with this. Jaywalking is really only a big problem in cities. Now cities are overthrown by transportation of all kinds: Buses, cars, trucks, bicycles and pedestrians. But with that, designated areas are created for the safe travel of these modes of transportation.
I dunno though, the Victorian era seemed to be onto something there - stupid rubes indeed!
How fair is it to go to jail for hitting a jaywalker?
So friends and countrymen *cough*rubes*cough*:
I implore you - use the gawdamn cross walk! Honestly. A parking lot is not a county fair. A highway is not the place for a quiet jont.
Growing up in small towns, jaywalking never seemed to influence the flow of traffic. But having since moved to the city, I've been subject to throngs of self-righteous jaywalkers.
In Ottawa, allot of the two-lane highways are separated by a big cement divider. Crosswalks tend to be found only at the ends of these stretches of highways at high traffic intersections. So naturally, the temptation to cut across a 4 lane highway (plus divider) is there. And lets not kid ourselves - if you're young, healthy, and get an inflated high on adrenaline, we go for it!
But alas, allot of these highways are situated in areas full of baby boomers and cadavers who all seem to have a death wish.
I cannot begin to count the number of times I've seen a mother with a stroller for two and a baby strapped to her chest ushering her three kids across the street in a frenzy. Or the countless WWII veterans pacing themselves across these highways with their walkers.
But to make matters worse, they seem to think they're actually entitled to be doing this; as if yielding to pedestrians applies to a 4-lane highway.
You're just driving along, then out of nowhere Mama Cass and her brood of
Then, oh and this is the best part, she casts you this look. The look that screams "If my eye lubrication were acid, I would burn your face off!" And you feel like a piece of shit, while this whole time, you weren't doing anything wrong aside from condoning her behaviour by not getting your front bumper lodged in her ass.
And then there are the senior citizens whom you have to respect because they got their own 400-class highway by being diplomatic in a world war. But honestly, you don't see them zig-zagging back on forth on that stretch of road, do you? If I've learnt anything about seniors, its that they're grouchy and hate everyone. They especially hate anyone with their vision intact and a valid drivers license. So they cross the road, as if completely oblivious to the fact that they're walking a total of -5km/h and they're on a HIGHWAY.
Because I'm a victim to jaywalking bandits on a daily basis, I decided to do a little research on the term. Here's a break down of Jaywalking as defined by Wikipedia.com:
Jaywalking is a term used to describe when a pedestrian crosses the street without regard to traffic statutes. In common use, the term generally refers to someone crossing a major street outside a designated crosswalk or intersection in jurisdictions where this is illegal.
Say it with me "illegal". Of course, here in Ottawa, By-Law officers are sent to deal with this kind of negligence. How the hell is a By-Law officer supposed to catch a Jaywalker!? There are only so many cross-walks.
The term's dissemination was due in part to a deliberate effort by
promoters of automobiles to redefine streets as places where pedestrians do not belong.[2] It is a compound word of the words jay and walk; in this context, jay is used in the obsolete slang sense, referring to a stupid or dull person, or a rube, i.e. someone from a rural area and not familiar with "city ways." At the time, vehicles and traffic signals were a new concept, gaining popularity in the larger cities, so
this term would have been used to describe newcomers who were unfamiliar with these recent developments and by extension, to ridicule people who behaved like newcomers but should have known better.
See, there's just so many things wrong with this. Jaywalking is really only a big problem in cities. Now cities are overthrown by transportation of all kinds: Buses, cars, trucks, bicycles and pedestrians. But with that, designated areas are created for the safe travel of these modes of transportation.
I dunno though, the Victorian era seemed to be onto something there - stupid rubes indeed!
How fair is it to go to jail for hitting a jaywalker?
So friends and countrymen *cough*rubes*cough*:
I implore you - use the gawdamn cross walk! Honestly. A parking lot is not a county fair. A highway is not the place for a quiet jont.
Haiku
by. RCM
Ode to the Rubes
Crossing rushing streets.
Neglecting the cross walk way; running.
Ren will mow you down.
Comments
I'm totally down for supporting jaywalking downtown and in suburbia, because hey, I do it too! I'm an aggresstian in fact (agressive pedestrian) however, I'm also a driver and.. not an idiot. If the traffic is clippin', I ain't dippin'. (Or something).