The Swashbuckler

On the topic of ironically sexy Halloween costumes, I thought I'd start out with one that's become a fad in recent years:

The Pirate.

The Sexy Pirate has had a reoccurring roll as a sexy costume for the last few decades, but it wasn't until the release, and chaos surrounding Pirate of the Caribbean films, that they made the splash as numero uno in the nearly inappropriate category.

It's easy to determine why exactly a lady pirate would be sexy. First, they're fugitives, thieves, convicts and quite frankly, Bad Asses are irresistible, no matter the sex. Secondly, pirates = adventure! Obviously, Pirates are savvy and street open sea smart. Lastly, Bitch could cut'chu. Dangerous = HAWT x infinity.

What makes this costume ironic is that we all know that Pirates were NOT sexy. Infact, most pirates were sickly, malnourished, and died young. The women, if not sex slaves, were likely dressed as men.

Actually a woman

Other than that, pirates were riddled with diseases. Pirates often has skin disorders like scabies, gout and boils, and due to lack of education or access to proper medical knowledge, amputation was usually the only answer. Also, did I mention the various internal disorders caused by poorly prepared foods, or toxins; Dysentery anyone?

Arr...you want to tap mah bootay? Arrr!


It's not that I have anything against pirates. Infact, I am a HUGE pirate advocate. All I'm saying is maybe a more original and authentic costume would a stinky, scabby, cross-dressing amputee pirate.

...ladies.

Comments

Feminist Catalyst said…
DUDETTE. That pirate picture of you is gold. Why have I never seen this before?!

And you might want to clarify that the pirate in a thong is NOT you. (Or is it....?)
November 9, 2008 at 7:13 PM
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