Murphey's Law in Practice.

I'm not really a superstitious person. Infact, I'm not spiritual, or into the metaphysical, occult, religious. Hell, I don't even really trust that we can spilt an atom. However, it's become pretty apparent that I am cursed.

Now, this isn't about me having a pity party or anything, I'm just trying to document and detail the events of the last few weeks.

Some call it 'karma', others - Cosmic Balance, Divine Intervention....

Me? I call it Murphey's Law.

If you are unfamiliar with the theory behind Murphey's Law, allow me to elaborate:

Murphey's Law is the theory that "If anything can go wrong, it will." We've all been there. We have all be subject to circumstances that fall under the Murphey's Law Credo.

Whether it be by dropping a slice of buttered toast, and it landing buttered side down. Or looking forward to a big date, and something coming up at the last minute. Actually, Alanis Morissette's Ironic details several examples of Murphey's Law in practice.

As for my bout with The Law, I will outline the fundamentals of the Crap'tacular week I've had.

• My sisters mom died
  
• I was unable to pay my respects on the one year anniversary of my bestfriend's suicide.
  
• My breaks locked as I was going down an overpass and due to my steering wheel deciding not to turn, I crashed into a 28-year old muscle car.


• I was boke so I ate nothing but mock chicken and cucumbers for the entire week.


• Spent very little time with my son as he was staying with his father for the week.*


• Dropped an A/C adapter on my foot and broke the middle toe on my left foot, and sprained the index toe.


• As I was taking the garbage out with my son, he accidentally stepped on my broken toe, which resulted in the nail unhinging itself from my toe and cutting the tip of the toe. There was blood everywhere.

...Oh yeah, I also got my period at the end of it all.

Now, it's not all bad. I'm actually in really good spirits, and honestly, this whole thing is pretty fucking awesome in that it's so bizarre and uncanny that all of this could happen within 7 days.

So really, no small children died as a result of my week, and while my toe is disgusting and my white Suzuki Swift now has a red hood and looks way too patriotic for my liking, I'm actually feeling pretty awesome.

So, I guess the moral of this story is: The next time you think your life is in the shitter, and you think that there's no one anywhere that could possibly have it worse than you, remember:

I do.

*Liam's Dad, the notorious G.M.A. was awesome enough to encourage me to come over and see Liam as much as I wanted - so that was okay.