The Life and Times of Ren... and then some

Ren-andthensome will be on hiatus until such a time as Miss Ren recovers from the stomach flu.

My take on Perez Hiltons Separated at Birth column. LEFT: Justin from Semi Precious Weapons and RIGHT: Peter Hinwood AKA: "Rocky" in The Rocky Horor Picture Show

You know Monday is going to kick your ass when your kid wakes up puking at 2am and you can't find a word for the scent of his vomit.

Okay, so nothing really eventful to talk about at this particular moment, but I just wanted to let you all know that There's some really funny stuff coming up for the " vlog " this weekend as it pertains to this week's challenge - LOOK FOR IT! The lack of video only stems from my being uber tired and the battery yet again dying. BTW, thanks again to Pie Guy Will aka: my brother for being so cool about letting me borrow his handycam . I need everyone who reads this to really try and brain storm for some upcoming challenges. It's actually pretty hard to come up with this stuff. So here's the deal: I need at least 2 ideas for challenges which will be voted for on a poll (because here at ren - andthensome , we believe in democracy) and whatever majority rules, I will do for a week. So please please please e-mail me with some ideas or leave me a message here on ren - andthensome and we'll use some of those ideas for challenges on the poll. Thanks again!

check out my face! thanks youtube.

As we are nearing the end of mid-week hump-day in this crazy week of worship, gospel revival, and praise from the Lord through Song, I find myself strangely more sensitive to things like this: Now this , Ladies and Gentlemen, is a pimped out Jesus-mobile situated not 100 metres away from one of the schools I teach at every week. It's a classy neighbourhood, I might add. There be rich'folk roaming the streets on their Segways, walkin' there tiny dogs, all hyped up on matching velour track suits and Starbucks... and then there be this. It's the kinda thing that just sticks out like a sore thumb. To make matters worse (or better - depends on your prospective) there's an open invitation to come and visit this truck owner PLASTERED on the back of their pick-up! To be perfectly honest, part of me -really- wanted to go and knock on that door for a little heart-to-heart with one of Gods apostles, but then I remembered that I live with my mother who is apparently not only

My baby KNOWS HIS SHAPES! Yeah, fo'realz. I didn't even teach him that! Thank you Sesame Street! First, shape domination, next, the world. ...Get yo'selves on his good side. He accepts all major creditcards, pay pal, and all candy denominations.

CHRISTIAN DEATH METAL! ...more to come.

JK Rowlings made THIS announcement the other day. Believe it m*uthafuckas.

I honestly don't know where this one came from, but I thought it'd be appropriate considering the poll is leaning towards Christian music.

Again with the weirdness - and again, I have to thank my brother for this one

I try and help those needy. I've been needy. I've been helped. Therefore, I try and help the needy. My Saintliness knows no bounds, I swear to you; I am a vision of kindness...and modesty. ... Okay, so I'm far from perfect, but at the very least, I try and be a good Samaritan and set an example . Today was no exception. As I was heading out of my driveway to run some errands, I noticed what looked like a student trying to hitch a ride. I've always been taught that as a single, white, and devastatingly attractive female, I should never give rides to hitch hikers, and today was no different then any other day, except this hitcher looked hurt. I noticed before I pulled out that he had been chasing after cars desperately trying to secure a ride. As I started to drive by him, I noticed him hunched over almost panting. I thought he may have hurt himself, so I slowed down. That was mistake number one. The fellow noticed me and came towards my car. I rolled down my window a

A mock chicken sandwich is part of a complete breakfast.

As a woman, it's imperative that I keep myself well-groomed. Today's society doesn't look kindly on hairy women; I must therefore take time out of my week to rid myself of all unwanted hair. Because of the media, women feel compelled to not only keep perfectly sheered arm pits and legs, but nether-regions as well. I have friends who's men won't go near their snatch unless it's hairless and smells of a floral spring day. I was one of these women. I spent so much time coiffing my junk, and for what? For a second rate muff-dive? Yeah - not so much. As I've since become a mother, and admittedly less concerned with my appearance, it be the rarest of ocassions that my cooter gets any sort of salon treatment at all. The other day, I got to thinking... why would a grown woman even want to s have off all her fuzz? When you think about it, what kind of female is hairless down there anyways? Yeah - pre-pubecent girls. ...And porn stars. Pubic hair is a sign of our wo

It's been brought to my attention that I must stipulate the terms of each category you might vote for on the poll. First, understand that whatever majority rules, I'm going to do, explicitly, for one week and that it will be documented on video for your viewing pleasure. Secondly, here are the details of each category: Vegetarian for a week: This is pretty self-explanitory. I love meat, so vegetarian for a week will be tres difficult to do. Basically what this means is I actually have to adapt a vegetari an life-style; meat-free junk food ain't gonna cut it! Dairy will be cut out as well as poultry, fish, and eggs. I'll have to try at least 3 vegetarian recipes. Christian music ONLY: This one is actually hella ghey. My brother came up with this challenge as our mother is a raging Christian, and I have very strong views on the subject of Christian music. The rules are that I have to listen to at least 2 hours of Christian radio per day. I also can't just pick a

Check out my face in the still LOL.

...it be coming! Watch out!

The Results of the poll regarding the new format of my blog are back, and 80% of you voted to keep the new format. It's still on trial, but I won't screw with it for a little while. Thanks for voting! Stay tuned for more polls!

So last night Feminist Catalyst , her man, my Ker Bear, and yours truly kicked it old'school to Cannamore Orchard's Spooky Wagon Ride to engage in a night of fun-filled horror and copious amounts of urine splatter. The night began with all of us congregating at my pad for some homemade soup a la maman pouri . Then after say 'adieu' to my little man, we all hit up the wagon ride. The whole point of this "Spooky Village" is to scare your socks off. I wouldn't necessarily recommend this for smaller children, but alot of them go anyways. This year, there were a couple of creepy characters wandering about the village, getting into everyone's personal space. Honestly, that was probably the worst part of the entire night. The ride itself is supposed to be a tour of the Orchard and all of the horrific people and adventures that go on there. Having worked as a tour guide for the wagon ride, and having gone on the ride many times, it seemed to me that th

...I have dislocated my vagina.

Ever go through your computer, only to come across the most redundant crap to which you have no idea how it got there? Here's the result of one of those little explorations: I think I'm going to have to thank my brother for this one.

I met someone with a death wish. An honest to goodness death wish, Ladies and Gentlemen. Well, I suppose I use the term "met" quite loosely. What I should say is that by " met " what I mean is " almost mowed down with my car ". So before I proceed in regailing you all with how I came across this dear fellow, let me first of all state for the record that the lights do nothing! We'll come back to this comment further into my story. Friday past, I piled myself into my Swift and swiftly *ouuu woah!* made my way down the dark country roads to engage in a night of debauchery in the big city. Between my house and the highway, there's about 15kms of near-off-roading back-wood country territory that you must travel in order to reach any sort of recognized highway. Surrounding this road there are some houses, farms, and LOTS of corn fields. In alot of ways, its the perfect scenery for a canibalistic redneck-psychopathic type of horror movie. That aside, y

I know it's hot when you rub yourself like that. NOTE: this isn't a link, it's just a picture from an e-newsletter I got

Funniest moment of the evening: Me : I can just imagine you there: in the mirror. Studying yourself. Ker : I do that sometimes Me : With your eyes all intent, and your hair all slicked back. Ker: No. If I did that to my hair, it'd stay that way NOTE: We're not entirely sure how the topic of Kerry in the mirror came up. But we think it had something to do with nostalgia. EDIT: upon reviewing this morning, last night's moment is hardly has humorous. - R

Cops: Prostitute Snorted Cocaine Off Infant’s Stomach While Breastfeeding SCHENECTADY, N.Y. — A woman had her 5-year-old daughter and 2-month-old son with her as she took drugs and performed sex for money, New York police said. Wendy Cook, 37, of Saratoga was arrested along with four other women during a prostitution sweep early Monday, according to Schenectady Police Lt. Brian Kilcullen. Cook was arrested when she offered to perform a sex act on an undercover officer for money, Kilcullen said. While Cook's children were in the car with her, she performed sex acts on at least two men for money, smoked crack cocaine in the car and even snorted cocaine off the infant's stomach while she was breastfeeding, Kilcullen said. Cook is in Schenectady County Jail without bail on charges of prostitution and child endangerment, pending a court appearance Tuesday. Her children were turned over to family members. 'Nuff said.

Roscoe Orman, the man who plays Gordon Robinson on Sesame Street is STILL on it today! He's been on it since 1974, and honestly, hasn't aged at all .

In todays age, alot of families have to send both partners into the work force just to make ends meet. This phenomena creates "latchkey kids", which the majority from my generation can relate to. This being said, it's getting rarer and rarer to see a stay at home mom, let alone a stay at home dad holding down fort while the other goes out to bring home the bacon. So by that token, wouldn't it therefore be safe to assume that being a "stay at home" parent is a privilege? Which brings me to my point: Stay at home moms who portray themselves at martyrs. I use the term "martyr" loosely. What I really mean is that these women get down on themselves and make themselves out to be slaves. Now, don't get me wrong. I totally get that being a stay at home parent is tough work. But it's just that, isn't it? Work. When you get the opportunity to stay home rather than head out to the office everyday, your "work" therefore becomes what you d

Everyone should check out artist/puppet maker Ron Mueck. His creations are eerily life-like and most times gigantic or tiny. He is my Artist of the Year <3

Here's an ad I found on Craigslist Ottawa.