He's got some work to do, now...

I wish I could blame being a parent on the fact that I watch cartoons. But really, I have no excuse. I love good cartoons; always have. Often times, it's a battle between my son and I over what to watch. Him, fascinated with the brightest, sing-songiest 3D marvel to entice his internal interpretive dancer, and myself desperate to watch anything with some underlying adult humor, battles usually rage and I usually bend to my little boy because lets face it: the kid could shatter glass with his range if he wanted to.

That being said, there are alot of things the two of us enjoy. For example, we both can get behind anything Hanna-Barbara of H-B-inspired. I'm a Space Ghost/Jetson's fan, my son: Rocket Robin Hood, Flinstones and of course, Scooby-Doo.

But being that I am much older and awesomer wiser than my 4 year old, I notice things that he might not be privy to - much like the Adult Humor I missed as a child in such classics as The Animaniacs or Bugs Bunny, I pay close attention to the character development of each cartoon hero, villain and animal.

More specifically, characters like Scooby Doo.

Scooby Doo is THE SMARTEST DOG IN THE WORLD.

This bipedal pooch is a fucking MODERN MIRACLE. The dog can and DOES do anything!

Not only does he walk upright, a daring feat for even some humans, he can do things that most people can't do!

On the weekend, I saw Scooby Doo light a match with his hand paw! WITH HIS MOTHER-LOVING PAW! ONE-HANDED MATCH LIGHT. How many people can do that? Aside from cow boys, rough riders, and possibly The Pope, not alot.
And that's what got me over-analyzing thinking about this whole situation. I mean, why hasn't he been scooped up and put into a lab yet? I mean the dog fucking TALKS fer'christsakes. My Grandmother used to have a dog that could say "Dehors" when it wanted to go out, not a small feat for a dog, but I mean, Scooby-Doo can form coherent, albeit speech impeded sentences and is a valuable member of Mystery Inc. Infact, if it weren't for his impeccable knack for sniffing out thief's, bandits and other mooks, not to mention being a Master of Disguise, I doubt the rest of the brain-dead crew* would even know where to begin. There must be something going on with his DNA - Look at Scrappy-Doo? The pup is FAR more coherent than Scoob; he'll likely get a Nobel prize when he's full grown... Why aren't the cartoon scientists trying to map their genomes and cure alzeimers or that disease that turns your skin into wood or something?

This dog can drive. He can use cutlery - even though he's a DOG and has absolutely no use for it. He can do up buttons - an exercise my 4 year old has yet to conquer. He can mountain climb. He can parasail. He can sing and play instruments. He can use a computer. He met Batman! He has an eating disorder - JUST LIKE PEOPLE!! But more importantly, Scooby Doo can love...

I think it's fair to say that Scooby Doo is more than just an animated Marmaduke, he's a bit of a symbol. The perpetual 7 year old is a symbol to canines everywhere to extend far past the conformity's society has placed on them and to reach for the stars. To try things they might not otherwise try. To experience addictions they might not otherwise experience. To become functioning members of society much like the German Sheppard or Seeing Eye Dog.

Scooby-Doo is going to be 40 years young this year, and he's still going strong with youngsters everywhere. I think we should all just accept him as a world leader already.




*With the exception of Velma...and possibly Scrappy-Doo