Moose Meat
Seeing as I have nothing constructive to do with my time, it's once again time for:
BREAK DOWN THAT SONG!!!
Today, much to my dismay, is the absolute bane of my existence: SNIPER HYPERBOLE BY UBIQUITOUS SYNERGY SEEKER
Everything about this song grinds my gears and has since I first laid ears (?) on it. Don't get me wrong, I think the music for this song is fabulous. But this single is clearly a result of putting the horse before the cart, IE: making some sick music and then skimping on the lyrics thereafter. What's worse is that it's almost like they just opened up a copy of Scientific America, chose a bunch of words at random with a dart and then took all of those words, opened up a thesaurus, picked synonymous words at random with a Ouija board magnifying glass, then put all of those words onto little pieces of paper, dropped them into a baseball hat, shook it up, and then dumped all of those little pieces of paper into a blender, set it to "liquefy" and poured the pulp into a glass, drank it with some grenadine, waited, took a shit, and then wrote the lyrics for this song with an ostrich feather that they dunked in the ink that was made from their shit.
Alright, let's get this over with...
SNIPER HYPERBOLE
BY: UBIQUITOUS SYNERGY SEEKER
Stop right there! Lets break this down shall we?
Sniper Hyperbole = Assassin Exaggeration
Ubiquitous Synergy Seeker = Pervasive Symbiosis Suitor
See? I can do it too...fuckers.
Thoughts seem to stumble out of my mouth
I can't seem to stop and talk to them
Fear tries, to pierce the armor of truth
Hollow point sniper hyperbole
Thoughts seem to stumble out of your ass and into this song.
"Fear tries to pierce the armor of truth"? Is this song about sodomy? Is that what this is? Because if this song is about buttsecks, I can't go on and shit all over it... HERE AND QUEER, MUTHAFUCKAS!
I can't, seem
To follow a pendulum
And there must be organic cures for me
Report to base
Instrumental Case
Here's the map to my oubliette
So, running with the idea that this song is about trying to cure the 'gay', clearly this guy is wrestling with his need for the reach around. "Report base, instrumental case" - oh, you rhymed. And "instrument case" what, is that code for "the shoe box under your bed where you keep the strap-on you got your girlfriend for your 6 month-aversary"? Good for you. And um, "map to your oubliette"? Either these guys don't know what an "oubliette" is, or they're talking about assholes.
Once more,
I'm flying with Brian my friend
Hold me,
Bonavista baby
Moose meat,
Neighboured a medley of beans
Screech me
Wait... did you just rhyme "Flyin'" with "Brian"?
...oh, that's deep.
And totally GAY!
And wtf: "moose meat" "neighboured a medley of beans" "screech me" - ORGY? I think I used to know a Bear named "Moose Meat"... or maybe that's just what he called his junk. This "medley of beans" you're talking about. Do you mean "lots of testicles"? Did you get tea bagged into writing this song? "Screech me"... that sounds sexy actually. Someone want to screech me later?
I's the b'y that built the boat
I's the b'y that sailed her
I's the b'y the sunk the ship
You're the one that save me,
With love
Okay! Okay! Enough is enough! You can't just throw some East Coast sea shanties into the mix, now! Common', guys!! This, this is NOTHING! YOU JUST THREW NOTHING INTO THIS SONG!! WTF WERE YOU GUYS THINKING?! Omg, this song is going to give me an aneurysm. BTW: Thanks to Yv!l for pointing out that it's 'B'y' and not 'Boy' FUCK YOU USS
You make me flow
You help me to grow
You make me glow
You help me to know
Oh, My, God...
Woah... did I just stumble into a Prodigy video? Did that guy just play the mixer with his TEETH?! WTF just happened - you know what this is? This is a blatant example of Canada's desperation to have more artists on the map. They support this kind of garbage. "Hay Guys, you say you're from Toronto, eh? Well here's $100,000 - go make a video with your friends." This looks like it was made at Arts Court with all their friends from English Lit. They probably spent the leftover $98,000 on Canadian Beer, and clearly NOT on make-up artists - look how SWEATY they are? They didn't even bother to splurge on any Gatorade!!
BREAK DOWN THAT SONG!!!
Today, much to my dismay, is the absolute bane of my existence: SNIPER HYPERBOLE BY UBIQUITOUS SYNERGY SEEKER
Everything about this song grinds my gears and has since I first laid ears (?) on it. Don't get me wrong, I think the music for this song is fabulous. But this single is clearly a result of putting the horse before the cart, IE: making some sick music and then skimping on the lyrics thereafter. What's worse is that it's almost like they just opened up a copy of Scientific America, chose a bunch of words at random with a dart and then took all of those words, opened up a thesaurus, picked synonymous words at random with a Ouija board magnifying glass, then put all of those words onto little pieces of paper, dropped them into a baseball hat, shook it up, and then dumped all of those little pieces of paper into a blender, set it to "liquefy" and poured the pulp into a glass, drank it with some grenadine, waited, took a shit, and then wrote the lyrics for this song with an ostrich feather that they dunked in the ink that was made from their shit.
Alright, let's get this over with...
SNIPER HYPERBOLE
BY: UBIQUITOUS SYNERGY SEEKER
Stop right there! Lets break this down shall we?
Sniper Hyperbole = Assassin Exaggeration
Ubiquitous Synergy Seeker = Pervasive Symbiosis Suitor
See? I can do it too...fuckers.
Thoughts seem to stumble out of my mouth
I can't seem to stop and talk to them
Fear tries, to pierce the armor of truth
Hollow point sniper hyperbole
Thoughts seem to stumble out of your ass and into this song.
"Fear tries to pierce the armor of truth"? Is this song about sodomy? Is that what this is? Because if this song is about buttsecks, I can't go on and shit all over it... HERE AND QUEER, MUTHAFUCKAS!
I can't, seem
To follow a pendulum
And there must be organic cures for me
Report to base
Instrumental Case
Here's the map to my oubliette
So, running with the idea that this song is about trying to cure the 'gay', clearly this guy is wrestling with his need for the reach around. "Report base, instrumental case" - oh, you rhymed. And "instrument case" what, is that code for "the shoe box under your bed where you keep the strap-on you got your girlfriend for your 6 month-aversary"? Good for you. And um, "map to your oubliette"? Either these guys don't know what an "oubliette" is, or they're talking about assholes.
Once more,
I'm flying with Brian my friend
Hold me,
Bonavista baby
Moose meat,
Neighboured a medley of beans
Screech me
Wait... did you just rhyme "Flyin'" with "Brian"?
...oh, that's deep.
And totally GAY!
And wtf: "moose meat" "neighboured a medley of beans" "screech me" - ORGY? I think I used to know a Bear named "Moose Meat"... or maybe that's just what he called his junk. This "medley of beans" you're talking about. Do you mean "lots of testicles"? Did you get tea bagged into writing this song? "Screech me"... that sounds sexy actually. Someone want to screech me later?
I's the b'y that built the boat
I's the b'y that sailed her
I's the b'y the sunk the ship
You're the one that save me,
With love
Okay! Okay! Enough is enough! You can't just throw some East Coast sea shanties into the mix, now! Common', guys!! This, this is NOTHING! YOU JUST THREW NOTHING INTO THIS SONG!! WTF WERE YOU GUYS THINKING?! Omg, this song is going to give me an aneurysm. BTW: Thanks to Yv!l for pointing out that it's 'B'y' and not 'Boy' FUCK YOU USS
You make me flow
You help me to grow
You make me glow
You help me to know
Oh, My, God...
Woah... did I just stumble into a Prodigy video? Did that guy just play the mixer with his TEETH?! WTF just happened - you know what this is? This is a blatant example of Canada's desperation to have more artists on the map. They support this kind of garbage. "Hay Guys, you say you're from Toronto, eh? Well here's $100,000 - go make a video with your friends." This looks like it was made at Arts Court with all their friends from English Lit. They probably spent the leftover $98,000 on Canadian Beer, and clearly NOT on make-up artists - look how SWEATY they are? They didn't even bother to splurge on any Gatorade!!
The only image that would have made sense in this video
Though to be fair, I'd like to state for the record that I don't hate this band. I really don't. They're catchy and commercial. They're an example of what happened if every guy I ever went to highschool with who fancied himself an "Artiste" didn't have bastard children and end up working at a factory, actually went out and put together enough material to release and album and had the time to tour. Their musical ability is very strong, but their lyrics... THEIR LYRICS!! MY GOD - someone kill me now. I can't even handle it. I can only hope that in time, they realise that using 'big words' doesn't make them 'better' - infact, it almost makes them pretentious and dumb. And by "almost" I mean it most certainly makes them sound "dumb".
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