Diet Coke Plus - SWEET JESUS!

As the years go by, even in my 20 years of life, I've noticed that things aren't made the way they used to be.
In an attempt to make things better, they're actually getting cheap and more disposable.
Plastics. Chemicals. Even our foods are getting less and less like what food should look like. Having to inject our fruits with nutrients and vitamins to get the authenticity of our Food Pyramid back into the swing of things.

A nations worth of Consumer Whores can't be wrong. Everything is better when it's "New and Improved!" Or devoid of Trans Fats. Apparently Sunflower Oil is the bees knees.

And that brings me to my story:

Diet Coke Plus.

Back in the 1980's, the makers of Coca-Cola came up with a sugar free alternative to their popular Coke product. Aptly named Diet Coke, the beverage was an immediate success particularly among the health enthusiasts of the mid-80s.

Now, as with most products laced with everything but natural ingredients, side effects make themselves known as time progresses. Refined sugar, for example, is fat and calorie ridden, and therefore, concoctions such as "diet coke" come to be.
But what was it that made Diet Coke so "diet"? The absence of sugar. In its stead: Aspartame.

Aspartame is a chemical that is 180 times sweeter than sugar: but without the high energy values. Aspartame actually takes longer to appear sweet, but the aftertaste lasts longer then that of it's natural sugary counterpart. It was discovered in the 1960's by accident, but wasn't FDA approved until 1980, only a few years before Diet Coke hit the market.
How aspartame works is that because it's a chemical, it doesn't actually taste sweet so much as it tricks the frontal lobe of your brain into thinking that what you're tasting is sweet. That's why the sweet taste takes so much longer then that of real sugar. *

Now, I'm not knocking the stuff - I myself am a huge Diet Coke enthusiast. It be my drink of choice, arrr!
I can't say I don't feel the side effects of my aspartame abuse, but I definitely prefer it to its sugary papa bear of a cola.

Now, as an informed consumer I know that I benefit nothing from my drug of choice - Except maybe the hope that after consuming gallons upon gallons of aspartame over the years, my insides might be perfectly preserved when I die.

The Coca-Cola Company has recently (April 2007) released its newest concoction for consumer testing. It's called Diet Coke Plus.

The Diet Coke you love, now with {several] VITAMINS!!

Wikipedias description of the product states:

Diet Coke Plus is a new formulation of Diet Coke fortified with
vitamins and minerals. It is sweetened with a blend of aspartame and acesulfame
potassium, unlike regular Diet Coke which only contains aspartame.

DietCoke Plus was introduced in April 2007 in select areas for test marketing.
Each 8-ounce serving of Diet Coke Plus provides 15% of the daily value for niacin and vitamins B6 and B12, and 10% for zinc and magnesium. In fact the second main ingredient in diet coke plus is magnesium sulfate.[1]

So now, they're trying to make Diet Coke healthy?

Sure, vitamins are great. Not only are they still appealing to the throngs of Women who feel that Diet Coke is a safe alternative from their otherwise Caloric Beverine, they're marketing to the health crisis that's rampant in our Nations ever expanding waistline.

But note, that now, it's not just aspartame that's sweetening this God send, they've now added another chemical byproduct to tantalize your frontal lobe.

I'm sorry - but regardless of how tantalizing a cool can of Diet Coke is - it is not, in any way good for me. Putting Daily Intake Additives into my drink isn't going to convince me that this shit is okay for me to drink.

Why not instead, market a 12 pack of diet coke with a complimentary, all-in-one Woman's vitamin? Or a coupon for some fruits and veggies? However, on their website they do offer a coupon to purchas Diet Coke Plus.

I don't want to imagine The Ignorant knocking back cans of these suckers thinking that they're at a physical peak.

Ain't no Incredible She-Hulks being made thanks to Coca-Cola-anything...

But hopefully, mumification is a possibility.

*I'm basing all the information in this text off research that I have done over the past few years, so I may not be 100% on all my facts, but this does present the general idea behind aspartame.