And so it finally happened...
I met someone with a death wish.
An honest to goodness death wish, Ladies and Gentlemen.
Well, I suppose I use the term "met" quite loosely.
What I should say is that by "met" what I mean is "almost mowed down with my car".
So before I proceed in regailing you all with how I came across this dear fellow, let me first of all state for the record that the lights do nothing!
We'll come back to this comment further into my story.
Friday past, I piled myself into my Swift and swiftly *ouuu woah!* made my way down the dark country roads to engage in a night of debauchery in the big city.
Between my house and the highway, there's about 15kms of near-off-roading back-wood country territory that you must travel in order to reach any sort of recognized highway. Surrounding this road there are some houses, farms, and LOTS of corn fields. In alot of ways, its the perfect scenery for a canibalistic redneck-psychopathic type of horror movie.
That aside, you must therefore succumb to the back-road-fury to reach any sort of civilzation.
Now, at the end of this road, there are 2 major bends in the road. At the end of these curves, you are met with a storage/commercial lot that sells Tractors, and Tractor accessories. The only problem with this lot is that is has two retna-penetrating lights - each facing a different area of the road. So at the end of the second curb, you're blinded for a few seconds by this light.
Well the other night, as I was hitting the end of the death-curb I knew so well, there I noticed not 2 metres infront of me a man walking, back to the traffic, in the middle of my lane.
Now, my brain was guiding my car towards said fellow, but luckily my cat-like reflexes steered me away from him at the last second.
Now I know what you're thinking: Suuure... I bet he jumped right out infront of you!
I'd like to bring to the table exhibit A: The man was clad, head-to-toe, in BLACK.
To be perfectly honest, I only saw him because the back of his neck was bare.
After I breezed by him, I stopped my car at the intersection for a moments pause.
And then it hit me:
I almost hit that man with my car.
I could be in jail right now.
The law protects the ignorant. This man obviously had an issue with walking on the gravel, and therefore felt that it would be to his benefit to walk dead-center of the lane with steady traffic.
After my moment of realization had ended and my blood pressure had returned to it's steady rythm, I looked back to see if he was still there, only to notice that 2 more cars just missed him!
Now it's Wednesday. I'm left wondering what happened to said fellow. I wonder if he got knicked by any cars or at the very least, some self-righteous bastard had the gawl to stop his car after only missing Fellow by inches, so to yell at him.
All I know, is that in a perfect world, my car would packed tight with a crow baw, burlap sack and duct tape, so that if I ever see that guy on the road again, obstructing my path, I will give him a reason to want to live or at the very least - walk on the damn gravel; it would suck to wake up in the middle of a corn field without your pants, reeking of urine and fear.
As for the lights, the lights of said Tractor distribution centre, they do nothing...
If anything, they blinded me to the point where I couldn't see things I was about to destroy with my car.
I feel a letter coming on!
An honest to goodness death wish, Ladies and Gentlemen.
Well, I suppose I use the term "met" quite loosely.
What I should say is that by "met" what I mean is "almost mowed down with my car".
So before I proceed in regailing you all with how I came across this dear fellow, let me first of all state for the record that the lights do nothing!
We'll come back to this comment further into my story.
Friday past, I piled myself into my Swift and swiftly *ouuu woah!* made my way down the dark country roads to engage in a night of debauchery in the big city.
Between my house and the highway, there's about 15kms of near-off-roading back-wood country territory that you must travel in order to reach any sort of recognized highway. Surrounding this road there are some houses, farms, and LOTS of corn fields. In alot of ways, its the perfect scenery for a canibalistic redneck-psychopathic type of horror movie.
That aside, you must therefore succumb to the back-road-fury to reach any sort of civilzation.
Now, at the end of this road, there are 2 major bends in the road. At the end of these curves, you are met with a storage/commercial lot that sells Tractors, and Tractor accessories. The only problem with this lot is that is has two retna-penetrating lights - each facing a different area of the road. So at the end of the second curb, you're blinded for a few seconds by this light.
Well the other night, as I was hitting the end of the death-curb I knew so well, there I noticed not 2 metres infront of me a man walking, back to the traffic, in the middle of my lane.
Now, my brain was guiding my car towards said fellow, but luckily my cat-like reflexes steered me away from him at the last second.
Now I know what you're thinking: Suuure... I bet he jumped right out infront of you!
I'd like to bring to the table exhibit A: The man was clad, head-to-toe, in BLACK.
To be perfectly honest, I only saw him because the back of his neck was bare.
After I breezed by him, I stopped my car at the intersection for a moments pause.
And then it hit me:
I almost hit that man with my car.
I could be in jail right now.
The law protects the ignorant. This man obviously had an issue with walking on the gravel, and therefore felt that it would be to his benefit to walk dead-center of the lane with steady traffic.
After my moment of realization had ended and my blood pressure had returned to it's steady rythm, I looked back to see if he was still there, only to notice that 2 more cars just missed him!
Now it's Wednesday. I'm left wondering what happened to said fellow. I wonder if he got knicked by any cars or at the very least, some self-righteous bastard had the gawl to stop his car after only missing Fellow by inches, so to yell at him.
All I know, is that in a perfect world, my car would packed tight with a crow baw, burlap sack and duct tape, so that if I ever see that guy on the road again, obstructing my path, I will give him a reason to want to live or at the very least - walk on the damn gravel; it would suck to wake up in the middle of a corn field without your pants, reeking of urine and fear.
As for the lights, the lights of said Tractor distribution centre, they do nothing...
If anything, they blinded me to the point where I couldn't see things I was about to destroy with my car.
I feel a letter coming on!
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