SYNOPSIS: Cannamore Orchard's Spooky Wagon Ride


So last night Feminist Catalyst, her man, my Ker Bear, and yours truly kicked it old'school to Cannamore Orchard's Spooky Wagon Ride to engage in a night of fun-filled horror and copious amounts of urine splatter.
The night began with all of us congregating at my pad for some homemade soup a la maman pouri. Then after say 'adieu' to my little man, we all hit up the wagon ride.

The whole point of this "Spooky Village" is to scare your socks off. I wouldn't necessarily recommend this for smaller children, but alot of them go anyways.
This year, there were a couple of creepy characters wandering about the village, getting into everyone's personal space. Honestly, that was probably the worst part of the entire night.

The ride itself is supposed to be a tour of the Orchard and all of the horrific people and adventures that go on there. Having worked as a tour guide for the wagon ride, and having gone on the ride many times, it seemed to me that this year they not only cut back but held back as well. I assume the time cut of the ride was really only so that victims guests would have time to partake in all of the other spine-tingling activities such as the Spooky Village, Fog Maze, and my favourite, The Haunted House.

Personally, I had only ever ventured into The Haunted House years ago before a shift just to see what it was like inside. Definitely not scary, but albeit, strangely disturbing.
This year, I got to experience the full glory of the house itself.

I hate to say it, but The Haunted House was definitely the best attraction of the orchard for me this year.

The house featured everything from people jumping out like they were about to strangle you, to optical illusions, to a SWIRLING 3-D VORTEX OF DOOM!!!
That shit'll fuck you up.
Curtains covered the doorways so that you didn't know what was lurking on the other end, and ghouls would follow you around just to mess with you.
Coming from a small Franco-Ontarien community, the air was filled with screams and religious swears of every nature coming from the mouths of babes.

The long and short of it, Ladies and Gentlemen, I definitely peed my pants a little there.

Afterwards we hit up the Spooky Village which wasn't so much "spooky" as it was chock-full of photo-opts.

There was however, a couple more creepy characters roaming about the Village. One was a Vampire that I daresay I think I got to Second Base with, and the other was a Cajun-style cowboy.

The night was finished off by the Fog Maze which was more or less some dark corners, a strobe light, and fog. Lots, and lots of Fog. There wasn't anyone ready to jump out at you in the Fog Maze, but they had done such a great job everywhere else on the site, we were still convinced there was someone lurking around every corner.

As we left the park,Feminist Catalyst and her man picked up some pumpkins and cider, and I picked up a candy apple for the Apple of my Eye - Ker.

I'd like to add that all ciders, pies, pumpkins, preserves, honeys, apples, etc. are all grown/made on site at Cannamore Orchard.

The night itself was a success. We all had a fabulous time for next to nothing and only lightly soiled ourselves.

Comments

Cannamore kinda sorta made me happy in the pants.

Merci pour le invite!

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