The Life and Times of Ren... and then some

Created by Train Horns

Happy Shrove Tuesday , everyone! In honour of the Mardi Gras, senior physics lecturer, Dr Garry Tungate at Birmingham University has come up with the solution to toss the perfect pancake. ( ... ) The pancake, weighing 50g, should be flipped into the air at a speed of 10 miles per hour, ensuring that it will take less than 0.5 of a second to reach the top of its trajectory. At this point the pancake should have rotated 90 degrees at a rate of 0.55 revs per second. It then takes a further 0.45 seconds to make it back down to the pan, rotating a further 90 degrees on the way, making a total airtime of just nine-tenths of a second. The pancake will then hit the pan with a velocity of 4.5 metres per second. Failure to position the pan correctly will result in the pancake continuing its journey on to the floor, which it will hit at 14 miles per hour, just 1.1 seconds after its launch. Worse, it will land uncooked side down.( ... ) As a Freed-from-Catholicism Athiest, nothing says Hooray for ...

Cotton Candy has delighted carnival-goers and scientists for years and while the Fair Stompers have been able to combine their two loves for generations, Scientists unfortunately, have not. That is, until now... Scientists in New York have presented their preliminary work concerning cotton candy and tissue development in the online magazine Soft Matter* . The process would work is like this: "F irst , you pour a thick liquid chemical over a wad of cotton candy. Let the liquid solidify into a chunk, and put that in warm water to dissolve the candy. That leaves tiny channels where the strands of candy used to be. So you have a chunk of material with a network of fine channels within. Next, line these channels with cells to create artificial blood vessels. And seed the solid chunk with immature cells of whatever tissue you're trying to make. The block is biodegradable, and as it disappears, it will gradually be replaced by growing tissue. In the end, you get a piece of tissue pe...

Ladies and Gentlemen, the fate of the world rests in the hands of none other, than BIG star, Tom Hanks. ( ... ) The last face CERN will ever see. That's right, the Bosom Buddies star could be responsible for the end of the world as we know it! Okay, so I'm exaggerating. The odds of Tom Hanks actually destroying the world (out of character, that is) is frighteningly slim. The odds of the Large Hadron Collider malfunctioning and sucking all life as we know it into the depths of oblivion however, are slightly higher. Spot the Hadron While filming Angels and Demons , star Tom Hanks was approached by CERNS director of accelerators and technology Steve Myers and asked to be the official responsible for turning on the Large Hadron Collider scheduled for later this year. He said 'Yes.' of course. Though it's fair to say that I'm extremely jealous and wouldn't have blamed anyone for having said yes, part of me wonders if they would have asked him during the fi...

Dear Lady in my building, I'm so sorry that my 1998 Suzuki Swift got in the way of your boyfriend's mid-Millennial Mazda race car that found it's way into our parking lot this winter. It must be really stressful for him to leave a car of that caliber in a parking lot as welfare as ours. It must be especially strenuous for him considering the parking lot he's used to using belongs to the neighbouring apartment complex, and not the one you're living in. What I can't understand is how I could have put your visiting boyfriend out to the point where he'd have to park his car even closer to our building - I'm so inconsiderate. To think, that parking next to the door as opposed to next to the dumpster was just such an inconvenience - where was my head? For someone who pays for her parking spot, I should have had a better understanding for Grotto Parking-lot etiquette. And what's worse, is that I, in all my thoughtlessness, put you in a position to discomfor...

This has got to be the greatest thing I have ever stumbled upon via the interweb CHARLES DARWIN: LIVE IN CONCERT is the brainchild of Mr. Richard Milner: The Singing Dawrinian Scholar. Richard Milner is a historian and overall Darwin enthusiast who has a live show around songs he wrote detailing moments in Darwin's life, and his discoveries, of course. The songs are actually quite catchy and I am so inclined to go ahead and purchase his album. I'm not about to detail the numerous literary accomplishments of Ms. Milner, so I'll instead encourage you all to visit his website: DARWINLIVE.com

Yesterday, was Charles Darwin's 200th Birthday. What I failed to report on was that it was also Abraham Lincoln's 200th Birthday. Darwin and Lincoln were both born on the same day, of the same year and were both revolutionaries in their own domains. Last year, I came across an article that broke down their two lives into the commonalities and detailed their individual accomplishments. As fascinating as the article was, it was hard to end on a note of "coincidences" that bound them, but thus is the nature of their linkage. The article was featured in Newsweek entitled " How Darwin and Lincoln Shaped Us " Below is an excerpt from that article outlining some of the common similarities the two shared: Both lost their mothers in early childhood. Both suffered from depression (Darwin also suffered from a variety of crippling stomach ailments and chronic headaches), and both wrestled with religious doubt. Each had a strained relationship with his father, and each ...

Happy 200th, Big Guy!!

So, as those of you who know me personally know, I am a big music critic. And I know, alot of you are thinking: "Ren, your music fucking sucks, what the hell do you even have to critique? Don't you be judgin' OUR music, yo!" Well, I just have to share this band with you. They're called FLEET FOXES and are without a doubt my favourite band of 2009 (thus far). Fleet Foxes are a Seattle-based band that got noticed in 2006 with their self-titled album Fleet Foxes and have since gained public notoriety with their 2008 release, Sun Giant . Their music has a folksy, gather-around-the-campfire feel to it, and while they mostly resemble hobos and Brian Wilson reincarnates, their sound is crisp, delicious, and catchy as hell. Please take a moment and enjoy the song that first got me hooked, He Doesn't Know Why. It could be that he doesn't understand why he's playing to livestock Also, if you like what you hear, take a moment to check out my f...

Betsy Ross was born with a fully formed set of teeth. Breast feeding must've fucking SUCKED* * no pun intended.

Did you know the average office desk has 400 times more bacteria than a toilet? *eyes new desk* Somebody pass the Purell? ...I'm going to go work in the bathroom.

A 39 year-old woman from Independence Iowa was arrested and charged with 5th-degree theft for failing to return her book, The Freedom Writers Diary, to her public library. The woman had been called repeatedly and was even visited by the police and told to return the book, valued at $13.95. Shelly Koontz, no relation to the author Dean Koontz, has since been released on a $250 bond. "Gah! No there's no relation!!" Oh-hoh the Irony. I currently have 3 overdue books in my possession, all of which have been sought after by the Ottawa Public Library. I've received phone calls, bills for the money I owe in late fees (Over $100) and notices from Collection Agencies... ...I guess I should get on that returning, huh? Don't fuck with the Library, y'all. It's a public service, don't hog that shit. Take it from me...and Shelly Koontz (no relation). You can read more of the corresponding article HERE ! Edit: "Little known fact: Dog, the bounty hunter, is an e...

N o, it's not how much debt the United States has incurred , it's actually the size of the Milky Way.. 3 Trillion Suns, that is. Scientists at Harvard University have started a new study to map The Milky Way and have determined that it was larger than originally projected. In fact, The Milky Way is just as massive as the Andromeda galaxy, both of which are constantly spinning and are expected to collide at some point in the next few billion years. You can check out more of the corresponding article HERE !

Grave robbers Archaeologists recently discovered a 2,700 year old stash of marijuana in the Gobi Desert. The weed was excavated at the Yanghai Tombs near Turpan, China and was it was found lightly pounded in a wooden bowl in a leather basket near the head of a blue-eyed Caucasian man who died when he was about 45. It is believed that due to the nature of the value of the items, the man could have been a Gushi Shaman which would indicate that the cannabis was either used for medical or psychotropic purposes. Scientists however, are curious to know how the drug was administered since there were no rolling papers pipes bongs at the site. It it believed that it might have been taken orally in brownies . For more information on the Older-Than-God Mary J, please check out the following LINK .

S o as if cell phones weren't enough, Australian Researchers have now given bees cocaine to examine it's effects on the insect. The soci-dynamics of a honey bee colony is quite complex. Every bee has it's role and every role is important. But as much as the colony depends on their Queen to keep the population steady, they rely equally on those of the colony who work at gathering the best pollen for their tribe. That being said, in order to collect the bounty, honey bees must trek out into the wide unknown in search of said tasty pollen and return to the hive to deliver the message of sweet goodness to the other members of the colony so that other collector bees can go and help with the collection process. Now, as if you're stupid, I'm going to mention that since bees don't have developed speech, they do however have a very intricate form of visual communication which involves a series of complex dance moves to help direct the other bees to the bounty. Upon findi...