Welcome to the Jungle

This might come across as contradictory, especially in light of my article on Personal Grooming. In the article, I talked about women who 'groomed' their lady-bits in an effort to succumb to society's standards for hairless women. But I need to point out that I also stated that I am such a groomer. Of course I am! I'm not impervious to the charms and smooth-talking let downs of the media! Infact, I am -such- a groomer, that not only to I shave creative patterns into my crotchal area, I go the extra step and concur the jungle as well.

Into the thicket.


Well, what! Yeah, women don't talk about it. Do you think our assholes are -naturally- pre-pubescent? Pfft, media entrapment again! Nah, nah, nah... folks, listen up: Your asshole, it's hairy. You might not think your asshole is hairy, but I assure you, it is. Not only that, I can guarantee that if you've never shaved your asshole before, you will be left dumbstruck by exactly how hairy it is. Nothing dulls a razor like shaving your backside for the first time, and really, if you're shaving the rest, why skimp on the rump?

What people don't realise in terms of personal grooming is that it's an all or nothing endeavour. Why work the front if you're not going to bother with the back? That's where the real danger is. Sure, the front is esthetically pleasing, but the bottom is the buffer zone. "More cushion for the pushin'"?

No thank you!

I don't know when in history it was so cold that we needed fuzz to shield our buttholes from the elements, but enough is enough. Men even! LISTEN UP! Your bung hole is a cornucopia of erogenous zones. You don't know this, because no woman alive would want to stray too far into the fire swamp for fear of losing a limb in the wake of her escape. All of us, men and women alike, should just cut the crap* and shave the hair out of our asses. It's not difficult, and I can assure you that once you do, you'll have a new lease on life. The economy? Who cares? Your asshole is shaved now! World hunger? Fuck it! You are free and clear! Global warming, gas prices, war on terror - doesn't matter when you've shaved your butthole!

"Fuck you, Cancer! We shaved our assholes!"


A thumbs up is not only a sign of a clean butthole, it's a sign of freedom. Do your loved ones AND yourself a favour, and take the leap from front to back.

Can YOU give a thumbs up?

*Pun INTENDED

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Smells like celery...

HAPPY SHANNON TWEED DAY!!!

Animals and the people who love them.