The Life and Times of Ren... and then some

Another funny sign I noticed while driving. Picture curtosy of Grand Master Awesome.

Have you ever seen a cow pee? Yah, you don't think about it do you? Well let me tell you, I definetly saw a cow pee yesterday - weirdest phenomena EVER. You just don't really think about it. Think about it.

So, I try hard not to bring my personal life into the humor of my blog, but I find this absolutely hilarious. So as most of you know, I am a single parent. I'm a mommy and a daddy all rolled into one! BIONIC MOM! Though my pregnancy with my son was both (at the time) unexpected and unwanted, I feel I've flourished as an ever-learning parent and that I'm definitely doing a bang up job. That being said: where, you might be asking, is daddy? Well, over the years I've learnt that blood really accounts for so little in this day in age. Some of the issues that arise with Father Absenteeism is not only emotional support, but financial support as well. As time goes on, you realise that really, the financial support tends to outweigh the need for emotional support from a dead-beat. Some of the realities that come with being a young, single mother, is that you can very easily get pegged as a MILF with control issues. The second you "go after his cash" is the momen...

Here's a picture I've been meaning to snag for years. This is a store situated between Brockville and Smithfalls. Fer'serious. Gun-Mart. For all your red-neck, deer slaughtering needs.

So upon doing research for an upcoming blog post I came across this little diddy of an article: Anal sex according to the bible? Yeah. According to this article, anal sex is condoned in the bible as an alternative to premarital sex. Apparently God doesn't condem the act of anal sex, he condems Gays and condones anal rape of virgins. Here's a passage from the article talking about passages from the bible that detail anal sex between a man and a woman. “I thought the Bible said anal sex was a sin.” This is a common misconception. Anal sex is confusing to many Christians because of the attention paid to the Bible’s condemnation of homosexual acts. However, it’s important to realize that these often quoted scriptures refer only to sexual acts between two men. Nowhere does the Bible forbid anal sex between a male and female. In fact, many Biblical passages allude to the act of anal sex between men and women. Lamentations 2:10 describes how “The virgins of Jerusalem have bowed thei...

Mallory singing: "Don't you wish your girlfriend was failing school like me! Don't-cha!"

On the weekend, the family and I kicked it to Kingston to see The Arctic Sunrise ( Greenpeace boat). On our way home, we stopped to get something to drink. We pulled up next to this red pick up truck. It's bed was full of some neon green something... Turned out it was full chainsaws. No kidding. So while the hubby went in to get a drink, I stealthily devised a way to snap a pick of the thing for proof - but the guy in the truck kept staring at me and my son. It was weird. So when my man finally got back to the car, I told him about all the staring, and then for shits and giggles, I took a picture of him (because I'm awesome like that). Only upon downloading the pictures off the camera did we realise that The Chainsaw Enthusiast was staring at us the whole time! So the long and short of it is that it was crazy, yet admittedly kinda awesome, as I've never been witness to a truck full of chainsaws before. These are the stuffs that dreams are made of. *NOTE: GMA wants me to a...

EDIT: I got a package in the mail yetserday from Revenue Canada. I've been selected for competency testing. I'll be going on Saturday. Wish me luck! All I ever wanted was a government job - second only to wanting to be a rockstar. Right so - dedicated readers: As I can't possibly making a living doing what I love (like blogging) I must therefore reiterate that I need employment. Though I'm not technically a paralegal as I haven't got my diploma yet, or any legal experience, I'm smart, almost too smart... As far as work is concerned, my strengths include: counselling, crisis intervention, legal administration, impeccable computer skills, creativity be all up in yo' damn pee hole. Okay, so I really hope there be no -real- employers scoutting out my blog. But I digress: Friends and Rubes - I need work. Idealy, I need work by Monday September 17th. I'll do anything... anything... anything. You don't even know. *lol* Okay, so any ideas, and suggestions, ...

As a new driver, and former pedestrian, I understand the rules of the road. Growing up in small towns, jaywalking never seemed to influence the flow of traffic. But having since moved to the city, I've been subject to throngs of self-righteous jaywalkers. In Ottawa, allot of the two-lane highways are separated by a big cement divider. Crosswalks tend to be found only at the ends of these stretches of highways at high traffic intersections. So naturally, the temptation to cut across a 4 lane highway (plus divider) is there. And lets not kid ourselves - if you're young, healthy, and get an inflated high on adrenaline, we go for it! But alas, allot of these highways are situated in areas full of baby boomers and cadavers who all seem to have a death wish. I cannot begin to count the number of times I've seen a mother with a stroller for two and a baby strapped to her chest ushering her three kids across the street in a frenzy. Or the countless WWII veterans pacing themselves...

What do Cadbury Milk Chocolate, Phil Collins, and The Rain Forest all have in common? *Thanks to GMA for always keeping me entertained.

Today, my son, Liam Alexander Cabana-Marshall went... POO POO ON THE POTTY!! Awwwwe yeaaaaah... Let's hear it for D E F E C A T I O N ! !